"Daaaaaad, play fetch with me moreeeee!" I’m sure that’s what he’s saying #thumperboy (at Malden)
I’ve become a gate keeper of my own mind now and it is something that I am not quite ready to understand how to use to my fullest potential. I’ve kept my free flowing brain behind one of the hardest impenetrable walls I’ve yet to experience and I feel that in the effort of protection, destruction came along with it. I’ve protected my mind from faulty loves, careless friends and unnecessary pain. But was it a plan for the better or for the worse?
Faulty loves, they come and go and trick us into thinking we can make any permanent love out of anything that comes our way. We’ll begin to settle for loves that are just as short as our patience, thinking we’ve found our soulmate. But is this adaptation of the heart or of the mind? Now I know the logistics of how human organs work and I know the heart physically has nothing to do with the decisions. So let’s now continue. Do we adapt to what’s given to us because we search for such belonging and the want to be needed by another soul? I can honestly say I’ve reached that point a few times and it’s one of the hardest feelings to endure. My mind was worn and battered before the foundation was laid and these towers of stone went up.
Careless friends, do we live for our friends and follow such influences that have nothing to do with our current goals in life? We work so hard to impress others around us and to appease their likings of us as a true being. I’ve made valuable experiences with some old friends and came to realize at a certain point I have no one to satisfy but myself. Satisfy myself, now this wasn’t the easiest thing to do. But to feel your own soul come alive again after it being lost for so long is one of the best feelings I was able to feel in life thus far. The warmth came back, the comfortability levels had returned to an empty vessel who was living for others and not for himself.
Unnecessary pain, my have I come a long way from allowing external forces to affect my life. I’ve mastered the mental aspect of my capabilities by not allowing others to sway my judgment or opinions of something I may be so passionately for. I control my pain and what affects me, this was, and still is, a daily effort to control whether or not I will let another energy affect my emotions. But what always triumphs over my resistance is of course, is love. Where is love, will it come when I need it most or is it just a want? I stay positive by loving as much of the world as I can.